Of Alliance and Rebellion Read online

  Max looked at his hands clenched in his lap. “Fair enough.” Max had never seen Jayden and Grace apart since Ana had gone silent, and so he had made a habit of avoiding them. Their happiness burnt like lemon juice in a cut, so Max couldn’t say he was too upset that Grace had declined his company. Max’s eyes found Anahita again, as they always seemed to do, and he lost himself in the curve where her neck met her shoulder. He loved that curve. Wished he could lick it while he—

  “Why did you wish to see me?” Jayden asked.

  Max jumped in his seat and jerked his eyes away from Anahita. Jayden raised an eyebrow at him, and Max shifted a little bit, crossing one leg over the other, ankle to knee, in an attempt to hide what his wayward thoughts had caused. He cleared his throat and gripped the arms of the chair with tense fingers. “Ana needs to become a Warrior.”

  Jayden narrowed his eyes. “Anahita,” he said, stressing her full name with a glare of disapproval, “cannot do so. You ensured that. She is a Guardian, and a Guardian she will always be.”

  Max squeezed the armchair tighter. “But I can’t…” Max stopped and took a breath to dim his desperation as much as possible. He reminded himself this was not about him. When he was as calm as he could make himself, he continued. “She is not herself. She cannot be this,” he paused to gesture her way, “for the rest of her existence. She would have hated that!” He broke off and shoved a hand through his hair. He had to know, even if it would kill him: “She’ll be like this always?” His voice cracked.

  “She is a Guardian under Compulsion with a Ward. She will be this until you die.”

  Max started and then leaned forward.

  Jayden narrowed his eyes. “And you will not die by your own hand during her watch, human, or I will chase you down in the afterlife myself. You will not do that to her. It would not help, that failure to keep you safe.”

  Max slumped down in his chair. He had hoped for a second that… Who was he kidding? While she was living, he could not be apart from her, even in death. “I don’t understand why she can’t pull herself out of this.” He looked at Jayden. “She’s strong! She beat Remiel for God’s sake. Why can’t she beat the Compulsion?”

  Jayden frowned at him, but did admit, albeit grudgingly, “She can if she Falls.”

  “No,” Max said quickly. “She will not Fall for me. I don’t deserve it.”

  “Agreed.” He raised his eyebrows when Max glared at him. “I did warn you of this probable outcome,” Jayden said.

  Max straightened. “You did no such thing!”

  “I did.”

  “You said to me, ‘Max, your plan will turn Anahita into a Goddamn robot angel. Perhaps reconsider’?”

  “It was implied in the subtext.”

  “Fuck your subtext.”

  Jayden rose to his full height. “I think we are done here.”

  Max rose to his feet as well. “You have to do something!”

  “What can I do?” Jayden roared. “You think I don’t want to? I’m not an angel anymore, Max.” He took a quick step in Max’s direction. “I’m as useless as you!”

  Before either of them could react, Anahita was between them, Max staring at her back, Jayden facing down the point of Anahita’s sword.

  Jayden muttered something that sounded awfully curse-like. His shoulders drooped, and he took a step back and held up his hands. “I will not harm him, Anahita,” he said. When Anahita still did not lower her sword, Jayden heaved a beleaguered sigh and looked over her shoulder into Max’s eyes. “I am sorry I raised my voice,” he said with actual sincerity, effectively taking the wind out of the sails of Max’s anger.

  As though they were magic words, Anahita sheathed her sword and moved back to where she had been standing by the door, her eyes fixed and unblinking once more.

  An awkward silence descended, and Max knew they were both trying to ignore the fact that Max’s guardian angel had made Jayden apologize to him as though they were both toddlers fighting over Legos. When the silence grew too oppressive, Max decided to break it. In a whisper, he said, “I know you are still connected to heaven, Jayden. Eli told me.”

  Though he seemed relieved to move on, Jayden frowned. “I would not say connected. That implies a two-way path. I know what is going on there: that the heavens are in chaos. The Warriors all but disbanded in the wake of their scandal and without their leader.”

  “Without their leader? Look at her,” Max said desperately, flinging a hand in her direction. “She could be their leader! She beat Remiel. She exposed his rebellion. She’s earned his place as head of the Warriors.”

  “Yes, she has.” Jayden froze. “Wait, how—?” He frowned. “That is right. But ... I am more intelligent than you,” he said, almost as though he were talking to himself.

  Max clenched his teeth. “And more handsome.” Jayden cocked an eyebrow at him, and Max said, “You know, if we’re going to start a list. Asshole.”

  “No.” Jayden shook his head. “I should have thought of that. She’s the rightful leader of the Warriors! It is ingrained in her as much as being your Guardian is. It just might be enough to get her back to herself.”

  “You mean”—Max tried to squelch the warmth flooding his chest before it bloomed into hope—“it’s a possibility? She could snap out of this?”

  Jayden looked at Anahita before turning back to Max. “A remote one,” he said finally. “She is hardly cognizant and able to lead. The Warriors will not accept a catatonic leader. And a Guardian at that.”

  “It appears to me that the Guardians are stronger than the Warriors. They need to nut up and admit it.”

  The corner of Jayden’s lips tipped up, and if Max was not mistaken, he chuckled. “Well, I cannot tell them that, but I can tell them something. I am not completely without allies in the Warrior ranks. Perhaps one of them will meet with me…” Jayden straightened. “I must go.”

  “Go, man,” Max said quickly. “Get it done.”

  Jayden turned toward the door, but paused and looked at Max over his shoulder. “This was a good idea, Max. Grace may actually talk to you some day.” Jayden strode to the place where Anahita stood guard. “Balance, Anahita,” he said to her. “It is the essence of life. There is no reason you cannot live with both parts of yourself.”

  Max swallowed around the lump in his throat. This had to work. He’d broken Anahita—broken her heart. He owed it to her to give her her dream.

  He was so focused on Jayden’s departure and his own thoughts that he missed it when Anahita blinked and looked at the door after Jayden closed it behind him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  She had been underwater once—she thought, at least. It was hard to remember the past in specific detail. The world around her passed by in the muffled tones she sometimes had a vague recollection of experiencing with her ears submerged in water. The world was blurry as well. All except for her Ward, who was in vivid, golden focus, as was anything that became a threat to him.

  It was, oddly, a fulfilling existence, this life lived in the protection of another. And, yet, she felt as though something were missing. Something she had very much enjoyed. Over the passing days, that enjoyment had morphed—the missing of it accentuating and augmenting it—until she was sure that she loved something. Maybe someone.

  But she couldn’t remember who, no matter how hard she tried to focus.

  She knew most Guardians were invisible to their Wards, but for some reason, she did not feel the need to be invisible around hers or those he interacted with on a daily basis. Sometimes, when she watched over him as he slept, she wondered at this comfortability she felt around him. Around them all. As though she had once belonged with them—or to them. Or to him. It was an unsettling thought in that it made her think of something outside of her duties with fondness. It was dangerous, and therefore, something to be avoided. Yet it kept creeping in.

  In the recent handful of days, her Ward’s activities had suddenly increased. He went from wandering the halls aimlessly
, lying in his bed, and taking long showers, to rushing to and fro and meeting with the same winged man over and over, another being she felt a connection to.

  And something changed. She began to hear every word of their conversations when before she had just heard noise. But she was only able to pluck a few words from them, such as meeting soon and Anahita must be there. Though she heard these words and suspected she knew what they meant, she was unable to glean any understanding from them. She watched the winged man closely, however, remembering the time she had thought him a threat to her Ward. He consistently behaved, but she refused to let her guard down.

  Her Ward was hurrying along now, and she was a foot or so behind him. Urgency poured from him, and he kept looking over his shoulder at her. Those looks became so frequent that for the first time, she seriously pondered rendering herself invisible. He was liable to run into a wall or hurt himself in some other way if he did not focus on where he was going.

  Just as she was about to disappear, however, he walked them both into a room outfitted with a long mahogany table and several leather chairs, all of which were vacant, though the room was filled.

  Four angels and the winged man she watched constantly lined the walls, their arms crossed over their considerable chests, and when she and her Ward entered, they all straightened their already impeccable postures. The winged man stepped forward. Had he once been an angel? It was the first complex thought she’d had since ... well, since she could remember. The four angels stepped forward as well.

  She put herself in front of her Ward, her sword in her hand so fast they would never have been able to see her reach for it.

  The perhaps-former-angel spoke to her in calming tones, but she couldn’t place any of the words, only that he and the rest meant her Ward no harm.

  She relaxed her battle stance, sheathed her sword. The four angels behind their spokesperson were staring intently at her. Taking her measure. Anahita tucked her chin and returned them each stare for stare. They should not be challenging me this way, she thought. They were her subordinates, and they should show her respect.

  Anahita felt her eyes widen and immediately schooled the reaction. Subordinates? Respect? Where were these thoughts coming from?

  The not-angel was speaking again, and Anahita’s throat went dry as she understood each and every word he said. “—your Warriors, Anahita. They are ready for you to take your place as leader. There is much to be done.”

  Some dim, closeted part of her came bursting forth, shoving the golden glimmer of her vision aside and casting the world in a different type of clarity. She blinked several times—the lights too bright—as thoughts bombarded her one after the other.

  She was Warrior. She was Guardian. She was both and neither.

  “Yes.” The word left Anahita’s mouth before she knew it was forming. She jolted. Clenched her fists. This was right. “Much to be done.”

  She saw the almost imperceptible straightening of each of the backs of the four Warrior angels. She also noticed that each of them respectfully lowered their eyes. Not one of them challenged her any longer.

  She was their leader.

  She stepped forward and quickly took their measure. Four strapping Warriors. They would do well for her. She must call together her men. “Where are the rest of the Warriors?” she asked. They had a rebellion to quash.

  “My ... l-liege,” one of them began, stumbling on the form of address.

  Some of the tension within her unknotted. “Anahita,” she said gently. Remiel had not stood on ceremony, and she certainly was not going to. She expected her words to relax the Warriors. Instead, if possible, they were tenser.

  “Anahita,” the same angel said. “There are none but us left on the side of good.” The four Warriors looked at each other, eyes shifting uncomfortably, and then back at her. “The rest were on the side of the rebellion and are in revolt.”

  It was the greatest effort of Anahita’s existence to keep from outwardly reacting. She felt a sick stirring in her stomach. She may just go down in history as a worse leader than Remiel. Five Warriors against an entire battalion of rebels?

  “Six,” Jayden whispered to her. He startled her, until she remembered that her riotous thoughts would be easy for him to glean. “You have my sword as well, Anahita,” he continued. “Well, our sword, I suppose.” He smiled. “Though you may not wish a Fallen to fight with you.”

  “I wish it,” she said quickly. “We will find another weapon.” She gulped and tried to calm her galloping heart. “Thank you for your help,” she whispered to him. She turned her attention back to her men and gestured to the vacant chairs before them. “We have much to discuss and plan. Won’t you please take a seat?”

  Each Warrior—and Jayden—moved to stand behind a chair, but they waited to take their seats until Anahita had placed herself at the head of the table. Amid the cacophonous sounds of chair rollers on the floor, Anahita heard the clearing of a throat. Her head snapped up. Max stood in the doorway, an expression halfway between lost puppy and elated devotee on his face. As she looked upon him, she felt no pull to either protect or kill him. Her two angel sides seemed to be in balance. The pull behind her heart, however, nearly bowled her over.

  Max smiled at her, but it did not quite reach his eyes. “I’ll just be going,” he said, placing one of his large hands upon the doorknob.

  An awkward silence descended on the room. The heads of her Warriors swung from looking at Max to looking at her in unison. Their eyes were flooded with query, and she felt the back of her neck heat.

  Anahita nodded curtly at him, and with a slight hesitation, he turned and left the room. A pang shot through Anahita’s heart as the door snicked closed behind him. It was with both relief and sorrow that she realized her Guardian side was not commanding her to follow him and keep him in her sight for always. She swallowed hard. Yes, that pang must be merely Temptation-centered. And she could handle it.

  Her four Warriors still watched her with wide eyes, but Jayden leaned toward her and whispered, “He arranged for this.”

  Anahita brought her eyes to Jayden’s.

  Jayden lowered his voice even more as Anahita felt the attention of her men focus in on their conversation. “He demanded I put you in charge of the Warriors,” he whispered.

  She frowned. “You have no authority over the Warriors.”

  “That is what I told him.” He smiled. “And yet, here we are. Here you are. I did not know if the pull on you to be leader would be strong enough to break the Guardian Compulsion.” He paused and flicked a quick glance at the angels around them. “Is your Warrior Compulsion back? Do I need to move the humans?” he asked quietly.

  The question shocked her, but only because she had not thought of it first. It was a grave concern that should have been pressing on her mind already. Anahita quickly took stock. “No,” she breathed. “Neither Compulsion is there.”

  Jayden relaxed back into his seat. “I was hoping it would work that way. There have not been too many dual angels, but I had heard a rumor that they were the only ones able to defeat Compulsions, and they did it by denying neither part of themselves.”

  Anahita clamped her lips closed, afraid that she would do something foolish and weak, like whimper. Or even cry. All this time, fighting who she truly was had kept her in a direct place of conflict. If she had embraced who she was earlier…

  One of the other Warriors cleared his throat, and Anahita snapped to attention, brushing as inconspicuously as possible the skin beneath her eyes and exhaling a slow, relieved breath when her fingertips came away dry. She gave a small shake of her head to focus. She had a job to do. A very important job to do. She leaned forward and began to address her small, ineffectual band of Warriors.

  She was relieved when the Warriors agreed with the need to accept the immortal humans as part of their forces. They were not as strong as angels, but they were trained soldiers and had much heart. Jayden quickly informed her that Oliver and Luke had left in s
earch of Oliver’s mate. Finding her for him would take little time and was priority number one so that the men could return and focus on the task at hand.

  Though she was focused as she made battle plans with her men, her thoughts kept drifting to the man she could sense was waiting right outside the door.

  • • •

  He would not fucking cry. He would not fucking cry.

  A traitorous tear cascaded down his cheek anyway, riding over the raised edge of his scar and dripping off his chin to land on his shirt with a splat. “Great,” he muttered, wiping his entire face with one massive sweep of his palm and then looking down the hall to see if anyone had witnessed him crack in two.

  She was back. Holy God, she was back, and he could not be happier. The feeling choked him as it made his throat and chest too tight to draw in much air.

  And at the same time, the joy was tempered with a fear so intense that he was not sure his legs would hold him upright for much longer. He was leaned precariously against the wall just outside the door of the meeting room, knowing he definitely didn’t have the strength to walk away from her.

  That curt nod of hers had felt like a dismissal. She was back, and she had dismissed him. Which, he reminded himself, he more than deserved. And yet, this sick fear would not abate. The fear that she was still just as lost to him as she had been under the influence of her Guardian Compulsion.

  Another damn tear spilled over and jetted down his cheek. He tipped his head back, pressed the top of it to the wall, and hoped that gravity would keep the other bastards in check.

  The door next to him burst open, and Max nearly fell over as he straightened too quickly for his body to support him. He cleared his throat and blinked while Anahita’s four massive angels filed out of the room, glanced his way with open curiosity upon their faces, and walked down the hall and out into the main room.

  Jayden was next out of the room. He paused next to Max, looked over his shoulder back into the room, and sighed before meeting Max’s eyes. “She said she will see you,” Jayden said. Then, leaning in with something that looked like a smile, he whispered, “Be sure to lock the door.” He winked—the oddest fucking sight Max had ever seen—and then followed the angels out.